Monday, August 27, 2007


As far as i could remember i was once a troublesome kid. I did not have troubles with my classmates, with my siblings but rather with the people who abused my family's kindness.

Nahinumdum ko nga sa grade four pako nakapalayas ko ug usa ka sinuhulan nga tig kuha ug kumpay sa baka ni lola. I saw him stole my mother's comb and so i protested that he be out of our house. But he denied of doing such act. My family except me and my elder sister liked his service. I did not treat him nicely and he did not treat me nicely too. Worst was, I teased him with all ugly words until one day he got tired with me. He rose into anger and challenged me to fight with him. So we had a fight. I was never afraid to use my fist to box him. Right then after our fight, i saw his tears coming down and he has to packed his clothes and leave the house at 9:00 in the evening. I was never moved into tears. Deep in my heart his past mistake proved that he is a person not worthy of my family's trust.I was never merciful. That happened during Christmas season. I did not have a heart, i did not even regret of doing such. Suddenly my parents came home from the city. After knowing what happened my father had to punish me, he had to let me kneel. Worst of all he has to punish my elder sister as well. We were asked to kneel down for long hours. And the punishment was not hard for me. I am used to kneeling down. We often pray the the family rosary and besides i was not alone, my sister was kneeling with me. My sister never got mad at me. But she felt that punishing her was not fair.

My papa has to explain to us (to me and to my elder sister) that the person was considered a real family member. That we should not treat him as someone different. That he needed help, he needed to finish his studies. That the person had a bright future if only we were more thoughtful and loving. He was telling us the real meaning of Christmas. He even asked what kind of gift I was giving to Jesus. He empathized with that boy. He emphasized never to condemn a person just because of one mistake and never to used anger or hate in confronting those who angers you. However, I was really hard headed and irrational. I still stick to my own view that that the boy i fought with doesn't deserve my family's trust. But my father had to find ways to reconcile me and the sinuhulan. My father got him back a day after the incident and he live with us again. I had no way out but to reconcile with him in respect to my father's desire to reconcile us. I saw his face very happy. His eyes look like he was telling me that i lost in our fight. And indeed my perception was correct. He got a chance to tell me "mayra nakasab-an". And i responded back " baga kag nawng nibalik paka". He stayed in our hometown house for less than a year. Was so happy that he got tired living with us and chose to leave.

I believe that what i did was really wrong. Perhaps i did not take my father's wisdom the way he wanted it to be learned and lived. That happened sometime in the year 1992 and after ten years i did it again. In the year 2002 i had to confront and face another sinuhulan of my lola. Somebody reported to my lola that they were not tilling the land, they rested for long hours under a tree while eating young coconut fruits.My lola complained about their service but she did not do anything to correct them. When i heard reports like this, i approached those sinuhulan. I confronted them in anger. i asked them why they were stealing coconuts when they could ask permission. I also told them why they were not honest with their work. Was so angry that they had to leave in tears while i was pointing out all their mistakes. And they never come back to work again. That was another mistake recorded in my life's book. I hate people who don't deserve my family's trust and kindness. That was my point.

Of course all my actions were irrational. the approached should not be that way. but remembering my father's wisdom i learned to humble down. I got a chance to confront again my lola's sinuhulan and i humbly asked their forgiveness. and i saw another tears falling down as the two woman forgave me. I wiped my tears because i was so moved, despite my worst treatment their hearts were too big to grant me forgivenesses. I saw no amount of hatred in their eyes. And finally was able to renounced my old self, renewed this time owing great wisdom from my papa who was once like the poor people i hurt so deeply.

1 comment:

batang buotan said...

sometimes we got to make mistake to learn to be good. we have to be harsh to become nice. such experience will take you to a better you, unless you insist your pride.