Wednesday, November 21, 2007


My id personality has been dominating recently. I seemed to go back to my high school days where infatuation, crushes and admiration on someone is at a very high level. (at least had those moments in my life) Unlike when I reached college I tend to forget about those things. I was so anxious with academic responsibilities that I have no time to entertain my affective side besides I often tell myself that " I am not aloud to nourish my mind and heart with opposite sex attraction because thats a rule at home that I should strictly follow". It was also a norm at home that everybody has to inform our papa about our whereabouts which should just be related to school activities. Of course I am a rule-bounded person, I always see to it that I won't give my papa a headache. Some of my weirdest actions that were extremely not normal include the following: not allowing opposite sex to be my partner in any school work and not allowing myself to mingle or make friends with men. I interact with them only if they ask me questions but never start a conversation with them, if i talk to men my eyes were usually downcast and i had a slow soft tone of voice (i was a monk).

I still have the weird personality in me but i believe they are more acceptable and understandable this time unlike in the past. Maybe this isn't weird for some people but i consider this weird. My id personality has been teasing me lately. When i look at this actor in the television i admire him so much because he got this very deep eyes, sweet smile, refined in speech and manner. He is Ryan Agoncillo. Although i don't like teleserye but catching him once in a while on tv gives me a leapt of joy. I got a crush on him. This isn't bad but i don't want to deal with this feeling because I seemed to extend my sleeping time from 10 pm to 11 pm. because Ysabella teleserye will be showed at 10:30 pm. Starting tonight I will sleep at exactly 10 p.m. no need to catch him on t.v. He doesn't care for me anyway besides i only admire his physical qualities and perhaps his role in that tv show. This is a challenge to forget about him and to start minding my own business.

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