Saturday, September 15, 2007

CONDEMNED

Ang akong classmate sa CSCST sa una grabe kaayo ka cool, humorous ug intelligent sab. Nagkasuod gyud mi ato niya ug kadIyot kai kauban mi sa group ug parehas sad mi ug skul pag college. Permi to siya mag white t-shirt ug sa panahon nga kami na unta ang mo report, as in prepared kai siya sa iyang pamayhon nakapolo gyud, na shock gud mi tanan pero na postponed lang among reporting ato. Tungod kai appreciative man kaayo ko nga person ako siya gi ingnan "sayanga no wla ta ka report indot ra ba unta kaayo ka ug gisul-ob karon". Ug nakatawa kaayo siya. Sukad ato cge nako ug ka receive ug text messages niya. Mga humor, unsahay sayo sa buntag mo greet ug good morning! unsahay manawag. Ug kong mo absent kos klase cge pangutana sa mga classmates kong asa nako o diba textsan ko niya. Unsahay basta green jokes i send baslan ra sad nako ug quotes about life.

One time ato cge na d-i sya ug miscall nako ug wala ko ka tubag kai nagattend kog holy mass. Iya kong gi sendan ug message " pwede ko mo anha sa inyong balay karon kai magpatudlo ta ko sa atong assignment?". Naka-ingun ko sa akong kaugalingon nga ang assignment naa ra man sa book tanan ug sayon ra man kaayo why paman mo adto siya sa balay nga wla ra ba tawn ko sa amo. Ug after two hours pako ka reply niya kai wala nakoi load ato unya naglaag-laag pako. Mao paghuman nako ug pa load ako siya gi replyan
"please read your book, am not at home, actually you can make your own examples, i've heard that silingan ra mo sa atong duha ka classmates why don't you ask their help. Ug wla siya ni reply sa akong message. Pero wla sya ni too nga wla kos balay gi confirmed gyud niya if naa ba gyud kos amo. Nanawag gyud sa landline ug ang akong manghod ang nakatubag.

Mao to akong gi pangutana among classmate nga silingan niya if ni adto ba sya sa ilang balay. Nitubag sa dayon akong classmate "Huh nganong mo adto man?". Kai magpatabang man siya sa assignment nato" mao akong reply. Ug nitubag siya nga nagkatawa "Huh nganong nako man nga lalaki man ko?". Ug akong gi ingnan, " Ha! ngano man d-i ug lalaki ka nga amigo man mo? ".

Sukad ato nga wala ko katabang niya sa among assignment dili na siya managad nako.Naglibog gyud ko ato. Ug ni consult dayon ko sa akong suod nga classmate, sa akong ate ug sa akong bestfriend if the message i sent to him was a negative one. And all of them told me that my message was very cruel. As usual ako gyud gi depensahan akong kaugalingon ug ako sila gi ingnan " but i was just honest, i was not at home and i cant help him at that moment and besides the assignment was very easy,i suggested to him that he better asked other classmates. How could i be wrong with my message?" and these are all the replies i received from them:

you were not sensitive to the person's feelings ("mao ba? dili lagi ko aware ana")
you were inconsiderate, you were insulting the person (is that so? oh gosh!)
sobra ra kaayo ka maldita (really? but he should have read my message with a calm tone)
you are dumb then not to get his message (am not an assuming person)
don't treat men that way ( im i disrespecting the person? )

I had a hard time accepting all the condemnations i received from the people i consulted. My fellow women who are close to me made those reactions. I had to listen to their long sermons one by one. Of course men who are also close to me (my cousins and my brother) made harsh comments against me.

Perhaps i did hurt his feelings and our friendship but nevertheless i was thankful that we were able to talk before we parted ways. And finally, we both had a closure.


5 comments:

girlfromdipolog said...

unsa nga closure?

if you didn't like the guy, i guess your reply was just all right. it's equally bad to play the field and lead him on with wrong signals sometimes we girls have to be cruel to be nice because guys are dense sometimes to recognize a NO.

but if you DID like him (which I sense you do) yeah, it was a little insensitive but don't regret coz he should have been patient and persistent. would you want a man who is easily discouraged?

weng said...

honestly i like him as a friend malingaw kai ko makigtalk sa iyaha but i never thought of a more than friends relationship. i did not send him that message to convey that "i don't like him" but rather "i can't accommodate him". I was just honest, at that moment i was not at home and i really can't help him. However, had it be that i was at home i still would not allow him to visit our house because our assignment was very easy and i can explain to him all of those in the phone. (it never came to my mind that he has deeper motive other than asking help about our assignment)i am poor in sensing things like. Pero if ni court pa sad siya wla sad koi intimate feelings toward the person.

weng said...

well honestly i don't easily fall in love and i also don't assume or place deeper meaning sa mga actions or message sa mga lalaki.i didn't have regrets i just didn't like facing a death row with all the condemnation i got from the people around me.

weng said...

GF closure meaning i am not anymore an unfinished business to him (naka accept na siya) and he was not anymore an unfinished business to me kai na forgive naman ko niya ug nakigtalk nasad siya nako.ni lighten sab akong bad feelings about myself.

girlfromdipolog said...

good! good!
i think you were doing just fine.